Producer Bennett Graebner on How Social Media Stops Reality TV From Being Real

Social media harassment has created a climate of fear among reality TV contestants, causing them to self-censor on camera rather than risk online attacks. Bennett Graebner, who spent nearly two decades as an executive producer at ABC Network, has observed this shift directly through phone calls from crying participants unsure how to handle the abuse.

Social media has fundamentally changed reality television. What was once a platform for audience engagement has become a source of relentless harassment that shapes how contestants behave on camera. Bennett Graebner, who spent nearly two decades as an executive producer on The Bachelor franchise, argues that online cruelty is destroying the authenticity that makes reality television compelling.

How Social Media Changed Reality TV Participants

Platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok created a direct line between viewers and cast members. Contestants now face real-time judgment that extends far beyond the broadcast itself.

The Fear of Being Authentic

Bennett Graebner describes a fundamental change in how participants approach television appearances.

“People are afraid to be themselves in ways that they weren’t 15, 20 years ago because they’re afraid they’re going to do something or say something and they’ll just get a torrent of abuse on social,” Graebner explains.

Fear creates a constant mental filter. Contestants calculate how every word and action will be received by anonymous commenters, producing self-censorship that undermines what audiences claim they want most: authentic human behavior.

The Human Cost of Online Harassment

Anonymity enables hostility. Viewers face no accountability for statements they would never make in person, and contestants bear the consequences.

According to CNN, unrelenting trolling and online abuse have become standard fare for reality television contestants. Former Love Island star Megan Barton-Hanson has spoken publicly about struggling to cope after being cast as a villain by viewers. Alex Miller, another Love Island alum, discussed experiencing suicidal thoughts following his appearance on the show.

According to Collider, contestants often receive death threats, bullying, and online abuse both during and after their time on reality programs. Following Love Island USA Season 6, cast member Daniella Ortiz Rivera posted a video about suicide awareness, explaining that show features real people with real feelings, not characters. Participants edited into villain roles face particularly intense backlash, but even those portrayed sympathetically become targets.

Graebner has witnessed the toll this takes on contestants firsthand.

“People on social media are very cruel… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten phone calls from people on the show. They’re crying, what do I do?” he says.

Participants sign up for a television experience and find themselves subjected to coordinated attacks from strangers who view them as characters rather than people.

The Authenticity Paradox

Reality television built its appeal on watching real people in unscripted situations. Social media has created conditions where genuine behavior carries significant risk.

Love on the Spectrum as a Model

Graebner points to Love on the Spectrum as evidence of what authenticity looks like when it survives external pressure. Netflix’s series follows autistic individuals navigating dating, and its participants communicate without filters.

“The reason that show is so popular is that those people say exactly what they feel without thinking about social media, without thinking about what other people think, and it’s so refreshing,” Graebner observes. “You can feel it from them, which is like, oh my God, they’re just being themselves, which is so hard to find these days.”

According to the American Journal of Psychiatry Residents’ Journal, Love on the Spectrum gives a more accurate depiction of authentic human interaction because it focuses on whole people and genuine experiences rather than manufactured drama.

Industry Responsibility and Mental Health Support

Mental health concerns have forced some production companies to reconsider their duty of care. According to Refinery29, after the deaths of former Love Island contestants Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis, ITV committed to improving aftercare programs with detailed pre-show conversations, social media training, and extended post-show support.

The Limits of Aftercare

Effectiveness remains debated. One producer told Refinery29 that what constitutes “effective” aftercare is still unclear. Mental health professionals emphasize that support must extend well beyond filming, as significant challenges emerge when edited episodes air and public reaction begins.

Jo Hemmings, a psychologist who works on British reality TV shows, told The New York Times that contestants need ongoing support because leaving production’s controlled environment creates its own psychological challenges.

What Needs to Change

Addressing social media cruelty requires action from multiple stakeholders. Platforms could implement stronger moderation and consequences for harassment. Production companies could provide more comprehensive mental health support. Audiences could recognize that participants are human beings whose well-being should not be sacrificed for entertainment.

A Shift Toward Character Development

Graebner believes the industry is moving toward programming that prioritizes character development over conflict.

“My hope is that where we’re headed is to a kinder, gentler place in unscripted television,” he says. “It’s less about the kind of character destruction and more about the character arc.”

Such a shift would require audiences to embrace programming that finds drama in personal growth rather than interpersonal warfare.

Authenticity in Reality TV

Bennett Graebner’s experience on The Bachelor franchise illustrates both the creative possibilities and personal costs of social media’s influence on unscripted programming.

Production companies face a choice between continuing practices that generate engagement at the expense of participant well-being and developing new approaches that reduce harm. For Graebner, authenticity cannot survive when cruelty defines the viewer’s relationship.

Crying phone calls from participants signal a systemic problem. If contestants cannot be themselves without facing harassment, the genre loses its essential appeal, and those who appear on these shows pay an unacceptable price.