Getting a separation is tough, but it is important to be prepared
Once you and your partner or the person you’re living in a marriage-like union decide to separate, you must figure out the legal and financial aspects of ending the relationship. It goes without saying that you will also need to deal with the difficulty of emotional pain.
Separation is stressful, overpowering, and emotionally exhausting. It’s a back and forth process. Some days you might feel better, and some, you might feel worse than others. You’ll experience a wide range of emotions as you go through the separation process. Your feelings will be intense, combined, and sometimes unpredictable.
For example, you might feel glad and relieved, but at the same time sensitive, worried, and anxious, or maybe hurt, upset, and betrayed. Recognition and management of your emotions will help you during the separation process. If you and your spouse have children together, be aware of the emotional roller-coaster that separation might cause them as well.
Acknowledging the psychological and emotional difficulties involved can help you to deal better with future changes. Having as few conflicts as possible with your ex-spouse will help the process of better decision-making for your future and lowering your separation costs.
This article gives you some helpful tips that you can use to go through your separation process much simpler in terms of emotional drainage. So, read below to find out how to handle your feelings during the legal separation proceedings.
Understand It’s Business Now And See A Lawyer Early On
In Canada, separation laws vary from state to state and are even implemented differently by county court judges. That’s why it’s essential to understand and protect your legal rights. Understand the state law and know what the court might do. Focus on making a settlement to get your top priorities with the most grace and dignity possible.
For instance, in the state of British Columbia, many couples who separate may agree about how they’re going to address certain things without making it to court. You and your spouse can make an agreement and save yourselves precious time, money, and stress. The legally binding separation agreement BC-bound addresses legal issues like parenting, property division, and child or spousal support.
You might have never looked at it that way, but it’s a fact that separation is a legal proceeding. It’s a lawsuit against an individual you once loved. So, it’s crucial to navigate the business aspects of the suit when your feelings are under control. After all, remember that it’s the legal division of your joint property and duties, governed by state legislation.
Get Your Records in Order As Soon As You Can
Having your most important records and documents organized is always a good idea, but it’s specifically vital if you’re separating from your partner. Sometimes when two parties are going through legal separation proceedings, this type of documents can be abused by one or the other party. And that can cause additional stress and emotional pain on both of them.
Papers you’ll need to collect include documents such as receipts of payment, credit card statements, loans, employment history, retirement, and healthcare information. If you have any questions about what kind of records you should be gathering and organizing, or if you want help with that procedure, consult with an experienced family lawyer as soon as possible. Furthermore, if you have a will or power of attorney documents that state your partner as the agent to act or attorney-in-fact, you should have those documents revised immediately.
Prioritize Your Emotional and Psychological Mental Health Over Being A ‘Winner’
Separation isn’t a contest to be won. It’s a process that deals with your future and your family’s future. Therefore, if you take a win-or-lose approach, you can lose a lot of time, money, and quite possibly your common sense. Instead, you should approach the situation from the mindset that you will work cooperatively towards a settlement that works for everyone in the family.
If your separation is less than friendly, you might feel tempted to get back at your partner, take revenge, or ‘win the game.’ Whereas feelings of pain or even spitefulness are normal, you shouldn’t allow them to be in the center of your separation.
Letting those emotions control your actions may backfire on several levels. They may harm your case for separation-related legal issues like child custody or child support. Besides, yielding to anger and revenge might also hurt you on an emotional level. For this reason, you should try to focus on yourself in that period. Prioritize your psychological health and welfare instead of trying to hurt your ex.
It’s Always Wise To Explore Therapy Or Separation Support Groups
It doesn’t matter for how long you’ve been cohabitating with your partner, a separation is a major life change. Even if you two were unhappy with each other, you were still accustomed to seeing your ex-partner on a daily basis. So, a sudden change may leave you feeling sad and disoriented.
Don’t worry you are not the first person (nor the last) to experience those kinds of emotions during their separation. Connecting with individuals that go through the same procedure can make it easier to manage and heal, and therapy or separation support groups can help you deal with personal issues and pain. If you don’t know where to start, keep in mind that there is a search engine that you can use to search for a separation support group in your community.
Remember That You’re Writing The Next Chapter In Life
While it’s ideal to stay amiable during your separation process, it’s vital not to sign a bad deal in any circumstances. After you have reached some agreement, your lawyer will draft a Separation Agreement. It’s a document containing all the parameters of your separation, and it’s a good idea to have a second set of eyes to take a look at it before you sign.
Bear in mind that the Separation Agreement is only as good as it’s legally recognized. There are some logistics relating to renaming assets and withdrawal names from debt that you will have to sort out. As complicated as it may sound, continue to look forward. Keep reminding yourself that the choices you make today are the cornerstone of your future. Don’t forget to practice self-care and nurture hope. Remain open to all possibilities. Focus on your business aspects while dealing with the emotional challenges.
The end of your marriage may or may not be amiable, but you can choose to manage your emotions and prioritize so that the divorce and co-parenting might be. Each mindful step you take, as well as all of the missteps you avoid, will get you closer to the future you want to create. So, take into consideration the above-given tips that will help you proactively deal with your emotions.